This post is not meant to offend anyone, but honestly if anyone asks me the following questions again...I may just have to go ape!!
Q. Is SHE your daughter?
A. Of course she's my daughter. Just because I did not carry her in utero does not make her any less important to me. I definitely do NOT love her any less than I do David.
Q. Why do you keep in touch with her birth mother?
A. Why not. She carried Lette in her utero for nine months. Lette is part of her. Open adoption is not for everyone, but it works for us...at least right now.
Comment: I bet you are so glad you could have YOUR OWN baby. THIS ONE JUST URKES ME EVERY TIME IT'S SAID. Honestly, it's so insensitive and disrespectful of the whole adoption process. Again Lette is my own baby. I've cared for her, fed her, sat up with her at night when she's sick, played with her....I do all the regular mommy things with her that I do with David. My children are my children regardless of HOW they came to this earth and into my home.
Q. Is your husband/boy friend black?
A. Does it really matter...you know what they say, "Once you have black you never go back!" Seriously, there have been so many times I've wanted to respond with that exact quote. Too bad I'm not that brave. I'm totally kidding about the quote, but I can never think of anything witty enough in response to their question.
My apologies for the brief venting sessions, but I was asked these exact questions yesterday at the pool, and I get sooooooo sick of them.
7 comments:
It is funny how crazy some people are (and bold! I bet lots of those questions are from total strangers, right?)
But I do wonder why the black husband/boyfriend bothers you? The other option would be, "Is she adopted?" Is that a rude question? Which is worse?
I don't mind the adoption question, in fact I love to talk about our adoption experience. What business is it of theirs whether my husband is black or not. I don't know...the question is usually only asked by white people...with negative intentions. I'm probably too sensitive to it.
If someone asks if your husband is black, just say, "No, and it was SO AWKWARD in the delivery room!"
Becca...I LOVE THAT RESPONSE...thanks.....
Possible responses to the black question:
1- My husband isn't black but my mailman was.
2- His skin isn't but his soul is. They don't call him White Chocolate for nothing.
3- Why would be husband be black when clearly, I am?
4- He isn't, but he's sure hung like a black man.
I love both Lette and David so much. When I look at them both I see such miracles and such great blessings for our family. I guess my advice would be to accept people unconditionally, and not worry too much about what they say. Afterall, we know how much they are both loved. Neither experience you had was "normal" anyway! We couldn't put into words. I'm so proud to be their grandma, their MeMe!
Mel,
Thanks for adding me to your blog. Wow, the questions I have to look forward too!
You are a great example and leader for all those ditwits with silly questions. I'm glad your out there educating the ignorant. Your experiances as an adoptive mother help out the rest of us. Keep up the good work! You ARE making a difference!
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