Same Sex Relationships - Elder Packer

I've been noticing on face book several LDS friends who are upset with Elder Packer's recent conference talk. I thought I would share a few thoughts.

Same sex relationships/marriage is such a sensitive topic. In fact, a couple of months ago I decided to email/face book a friend of mine that grew up down the street from me. He is gay. He is four years older than me. My mom taught him piano lessons, and his family was in our ward for years. When we lived in Dallas, he lived in our Stake, and I would occasionally see him around town. Knowing his family and seeing him in pictures with his family on face book, I asked him several questions..

1. How did you and your family come to terms/comfort level with your lifestyle?

2. How did you feel growing up in the Church?

3. As a parent, how can I teach tolerance for gay people, but also establish my beliefs regarding the Church?

His responses were genuine and kind. He said that it has literally taken 20 years for his family to be okay with him. He said growing up in the Church was hard because he considered suicide many times. He said he doesn't agree with the Church's policy on same sex marriage.

After our brief email session, it got me thinking about how I personally feel about this subject. Mike and I lived in New Orleans for 3 1/2 years. I worked with people who were gay. I became friends with most of them. Mike and I even had several over for dinner. I spent one evening at one of their homes discussing the Book of Mormon and other Church doctrine. Most of the people with whom I came in contact with new who I was and what I stood for. We respected each others differences and showed each other kindness. We agreed to disagree on the subject, but that never prevented us from being friends.

During the month of September (in New Orleans), gays from all over come to celebrate decadence. I am not going to go into details about that other than to say, it's not a spiritual experience to witness people participating in that celebration.

I've thought for a long time about what I do if one of my children lived the gay lifestyle, and I've decided I would just love them. Accept their individual choice; however, they would know that I truly believe that homosexuality is a sin. That there will be spiritual consequences for their decisions. They will be welcome in my home always, but their lifestyle will not.

It saddens me that some LDS members have to debate this topic back and forth and back and forth. Do people really think that Elder Packer would speak on the subject differently? It's Elder Packer for cryin out loud! He's never been known to be real sensitive about difficult subject matter. The Church will never change it's policy on this issue. I venture to say that if even half of my LDS friends spent a day or two witnessing decadence, they just might think differently on the Church's policy.

I fear this subject will likely lead more families away from the Church than from any prior topic. It definitely tears are heart strings. I do have empathy for my gay friends...especially for those that have been members of the Church, but at some point people just need to "get off the fence" and make a choice.

If you are on the fence on this issue, may I suggest that you buy a plane ticket to New Orleans next labor day. Witness the celebration. See how you feel about it and compare that feeling to the feeling you had the day you received your Endowments.